The Randomness of Brilliance
In my defense…I was left unsupervised.
Question for you all…
Ever do something that, in some people’s opinion, may seem like an impetuous action? Well….I did. (And by “impetuous” I mean dumb-fuck idea!)
But it really was not as impetuous as some people think. Okay! The timing was a split second decision. BUT! It was something I had thought about and wondered about and cried about and screamed about and prayed about and….
Yo
u get the idea. (sigh)
I quit my job.
In fact…today was my last day of work. (Yay me!)
I am taking on the dream I have had since I was a child.
I am going to work and focus on my writing full-time.
And if I am honest…and I try very hard to be…I will admit to being scared.
Excited as hell? YES! But I am scared. Terrified. Nervous. Worried.
But, enveloped within that fear, there is a soft current of peace. And I am floating on that gentle ripple. I am at peace with this choice.
I want this so much! I want to succeed! I want to write words and thoughts and ideas and I know that to do that, I must work through my fear to make this happen.
You see, I believe that if you wish to be a success in your life-whatever your definition is of success-you need to be at peace with yourself and your decisions. That is all I have ever wanted in my life.
To finally be at peace with the life I lead.
But I have not had a great deal of peace, nor contentment, in this life.
I have had snippets of those things here and there. But not till I made the choice to leave a full-time job with so-so pay and insurance did I gain a warming embrace of calm.
Okay! I know! This whole thing could go tits up! But it will have to fight me first before I let it simply fail.
I want this so very much! And that scares me! (But in a good way-because when isn’t being scared as hell a good thing!)
Despite all the butterflies tap-dancing in my chest-I am finding peace in the fear of this wanting. Because that fear is pushing me forward.
No more sitting stagnant. No more wondering “what if” or “why not me”. No more excuses as to WHY I cannot do the very thing I want to do. No more denying myself.
Oh, my lovelies! How freeing it has been to take this step without any definitive plan other than to get up each day and embrace the peace of doing what I love so much.
The Randomness of Brilliance 
YES! YES! YES! Finally! Write the hell out of yourself! Love you.
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Love you right back!! Thank you for being so supportive of this crazy idea!!
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